


The Shadow Walkers

by ThisWinchesterisabouttoslappeople



Series: The Shadow Walkers [1]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Blood, F/M, Mild Gore, Others to be listed, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 03:58:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6358165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisWinchesterisabouttoslappeople/pseuds/ThisWinchesterisabouttoslappeople
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We live in a world where there is a fine line between the normal people and the Shadows. What are the Shadows, you might ask? the Shadows are the outcasts, the people who wanted to be different or were forcefully thrown out. That's were I come in. My name is (Y/n) and this is my story of how I found the light in my world of darkness. Gerard Way x Reader in First Person POV!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Society As We Know It

**Author's Note:**

> Yup. I'm done.

ok. I'm _My Chemical Romance_ trash and I am not officially trash until I write fan fiction. God forgive me.

* * *

_Fandom: My Chemical Romance_

_Characters: Mikey, Ray, Frank, Gerard, Reader, other minor characters_

_Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader_

_Genre: Adventure, Fantasy, Romance_

_Rated: T_

_Warning: cussing, blood, some gore, strong language, sexual themes_

* * *

It sucks to live in the shadows. Don't get me wrong, no one pays attention to you. They just go by their merry way while us shadows tremble and watch with dead eyes. We might as well be dead. We were like ghosts; the shadows were. That's what people would call the outcasts. _The Shadows_. Mothers warned their children of us, Fathers kept their guns loaded at night, children sang dark nursery rhymes about us. It was a wonderful fucking world. But, you know what? I fucking loved it. I loved being alone. I loved being by myself. No drama, no bullshit, no one depending on me or me depending on them. Hot damn, it felt fucking great. I thrived in the dark while the people struggled with their lives. It seemed everyday a new shadow was born. Now, you might think that we are literally shadows. Not at all. Sure, we seem to be feared like the dark but no. We are ordinary people, you and I. We are both flesh and blood. We both have brains...well, I do but I can't say the same for you. We both have feelings, though I'm starting to lose the skill of feeling. I never cared if someone died. I never cared if there was famine in a country. I never gave a fucking damn. They never did, so why should I? They never apologized for making me this way so why should I apologize for being who they turned me into? I laugh at the hypocrisy in the world. But, it all changed. It all changed in one fucking blink of an eye. For once, there was a light in the dark, calling my name. There he was, the man who made me realize that there really was a light at the end of this dark tunnel I was thrown into.

* * *

It was a Monday in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, The United States of suckish America. The day was gloomy but it didn't stop people from going about their daily routines. I was walking down the street, clad in my black, tight, ripped, stained skinny jeans and my black and red hoodie. My hood was up, covering half of my (h/c) hair while locks in the front and my bangs hung out. My skin shined like a polished pearl, the color clashing with my attire, it was so pale. There was redness under my eyes from lack of sleep and black eye shadow covered my eyes, making my (e/c) eyes seem darker than usual as they refused to reflect any light. My piercings, the black metal cool against my skin, contrasted greatly with the makeup on my face. My shoes slapped against the ground with every waking step, my hands resting in my pockets, holding a pocket knife for self defense if it was ever needed. I looked like a walking corpse and I was comfortable with it. Children sang the nursery rhyme in the corner of the street, jumping over the rope as it slapped its rhythm to the song.

_Keep your head on your shoulders_

_Or this night will be over_

_The shadows will steal your soul_

_Adorn your head with a hole_

_Keep your feet moving fast_

_Or this night will never last_

_The shadows will drag you under your bed_

_Adorn a bullet into your head_

_Keep your eyes in front of you_

_Or the shadows will make do_

_They'll eat out your heart_

_After tearing you apart_

_Keep your eyes to the ground_

_Or they'll slap you around_

_The shadows can't see the sun_

_But they'll make you prey so run_

_Keep your head on your shoulders_

_Or this night will get colder_

_And whatever you do_

_Run so the shadows can't get you!_

The rhyme echoed into my head, making my blood boil as my anger grew inside of me, my chest tightening. If only they fucking knew. All it ever seemed to be about now was society. Society, society, society. Well, I got six fucking words for you, Society. You're doing it all so fucking wrong. That was seven but I was feeling nice today. It seemed like an obstacle course in this world, the judges laughing down at you as you failed. I was the one beating my head against the brick wall repeatedly. It seemed to revolve around everything. Where do you live, what school do you go to, what brand do you like, what band do you like, do you have big tits, do you have a big cock, do you like raisins, what do you wanna be when you grow up, do you fear the dark? I snarled as I walked down the street to the nightclub. Oh, if only they fucking knew. It made me so angry, I wanted to kill someone. Feel their flesh tear between my fingers and feel their blood run down my body as they screamed for mercy. Oh yeah, it was an urge I desperately wanted to act on. That was why the nursery rhyme was so dark. Because of one shadow by the name of Donovan. He was a man of great wealth and fame until his young fiance framed him for theft. He was cast out almost immediately and everyday, his anger grew. One day, he snapped and killed her, tearing her apart with just his bare hands. His murder inspired others and together, they went on a killing spree, killing those who made them shadows. The police never found those men and still can't. Donovan and his crew live under the city in the sewers. I like to visit him on Tuesdays. As I walked, men, children, women, got out of my way, staring at me with lively eyes. Others that were like me gave a curt nod of acknowledgement as they passed me. It was the only sign that we could still function like normal people. When I arrived at the nightclub, there was a strong stench of sex, alcohol, perfumes and colognes, and bad decisions. My kind of place. There usually wasn't a bouncer, since this was for the rowdy people and was built specifically for them so I got in easily. It was almost pitch black in the place, save for the strobe, UV, laser, and neon lights. There was a disco ball, people wearing glowing paint and provocative clothing. Some were grinding on the dance floor, others were fucking in the dark hallways that led to the different bathrooms and a back room. There was a band playing on stage, the men singing their hearts out for the party-goers. I felt good and sighed a bit, licking my (lipstick color) lips slightly, the cool metal of my piercings meeting my tongue. The matte lipstick shined with my saliva and I looked around. There was a glowing bar, the top glowing a bright, neon blue and the seats were rimmed with colorful Christmas lights. I made my way there and sat down, saying in a gruff, slightly hoarse voice.

"Strongest shit you got."

The bartender, a woman with lots of tattoos and piercings, nodded, grabbing the glass and a bottle, filling it to the brim. She seemed to know I needed a drink and I felt thankful. Grabbing the glass, I tipped it back, chugging it. The burn was pleasant and I sighed, setting the down. I heard a chuckle beside me.

"Bad day?"

I glared at the man and then blinked.

"What's it to you?"

He put his hands up in mock surrender and shrugged.

"Hey, gotta try and make conversation somehow."

"Well, two words. Fuck you."

I stood up and moved to a booth, sighing. In the darkest corner of this place, I sat down, snatching up peoples drinks so I'd have something to do and I managed to snatch a few cartons of cheesy bacon fries. Yum. As I drank, I heard a new voice from in front of me, asking.

"Do you always steal peoples drinks and food?"

I looked up, glaring and was taken back. There was a man in the booth in front of mine facing me, a finger fingering his glass full of god-knows-what, a small smile on his lips. His hair was red and went to his shoulders, some tucked behind his ear. His eyes had the redness mine did and I couldn't guess what color his eyes were. He wore dark clothing like mine, his skin equally pale and I wondered if he was a shadow like me. I tested the waters.

"Gotta do what you gotta do when You're a Shadow."

His smile grew a bit and he said, leaning forward on the table, resting on his forearms.

"So, you're a Shadow, huh? I knew I'd run into another one of our kind someday or another."

I quirked an eyebrow up and asked, still glaring.

"What the fuck are you, a hermit crab?"

He chuckled, the sound nice to my ears.

"Somewhat."

I frowned and asked him, leaning back in my seat, taking a drink.

"What do you want? Who are you?"

The man stood and moved to my booth, making me stiffen a bit as he sat down in front of me.

"Tell you what, I'll tell you my name if you tell me yours. Deal?"

His eyes were hazel now that he was closer and I had to admit, he was sort of cute. Sort of.

"(Y/n)."

The man smiled and responded, a twinkle in his eyes that was rare to see. I mean, it was already weird that he was even smiling.

"(y/n), very fitting. Is it too cliche to say that the beautiful name matches a beautiful face?"

"I'll fucking cut you."

He chuckled and responded.

"Ok, so maybe it is. My name's Gerard."

I sighed and asked him.

"Gerard, huh? What do you want, Gerard."

"Is it not ok to try and make a friend? After all, we are outcasts. Might as well start a society of our own, right?"

He was right in a sort of way. The Shadows rarely talked to one another, though there were certain shadows that did. We weren't really our own society, though we were a completely different population of people. You'd think that we'd create our own little society but no, not really. I stared at Gerard and muttered.

"You should know that The Shadows stick to themselves. It's all we know."

"Why can't we change? Are you afraid of change?"

I glared at the man and hissed.

"I'm afraid of nothing. I haven't been afraid since I was cast out."

Gerard seemed to be a bit taken back but continued on.

"I was cast out because I thought differently than others and wanted to express myself the way I wanted to. I started a band and we were all cast out because we were rebelling against society. We were trying to get people to realize things. It worked but it cost us our normality."

He gave a cheeky grin.

"Though, I don't think we're ever normal."

He leaned forward and asked.

"What's your story?"

"I would never tell someone that."

I looked down. Sighing, I downed the drink and set it aside, taking another and downing it as well. Grabbing a fry, I munched on it. His story was sort of heroic and it made me cringe a bit. He should of known that trying to do such a thing would cost him the chance of being someone. I frowned and looked at Gerard, muttering.

"You should of stuck to society. You had a fucking chance to be someone. Why would you blow something like that?"

Gerard answered calmly.

"Don't you want to be different? Is it wrong to want to be different? Don't tell me you never wanted to be different because every Shadow has wished it at some point of their normal lives."

He got me there. I sighed and looked away. Grabbing my fries, I stood and said quietly.

"Yeah, but look where that got us. No where."

Gerard asked me when I started walking, making me freeze.

"Will I ever see you again, (Y/n)?"

I looked down, thinking, and muttered.

"When the clock strikes twelve, and the moon is bright. I'll be with the darkness that's in the night. I follow and lead, but only as you pass. Dress yourself in darkest black, and I am darker still. Always, I flee the light, though without the sun there would be none. What am I?"

Gerard answered, a small smile on his face.

"The shadows."

* * *

It was later that night and I was tossing and turning in my bed in the bunker I shared with others who took refuge in the abandoned building. We had fixed it up and in silence, it was here that we coexisted. My body wasn't hot, my bed wasn't uncomfortable. No. My mind was thinking about the man with red hair. Gerard. He was running through my head. He was the first Shadow other than Donovan and his little crew of killers that had spoken to me. Willingly. It was strange. He was strange.

_'Don't you want to be different?'_

_'I was cast out because I thought differently than others and wanted to express myself the way I wanted to. I started a band and we were all cast out because we were rebelling against society. We were trying to get people to realize things. It worked but it cost us our normality.'_

_'Will I ever see you again, (y/n)?'_

He was odd indeed but...it felt nice to hear someone speak to me. Normally, some of us only exchanged a few words or a few sentences when we needed something. Other than that, we lived, as a population, in silence. We were ghosts creating a new race. I bit my lip. In all honestly, I did want to see him again. He was strange but...I couldn't stop thinking about him. He was cast out because he wanted to be a hero, right? He was cast out because he wanted to make things right. How righteous of him. I sighed. I wished that I could say the same and I stood up, putting on another pair of skinny jeans, my hoodie, and my shoes. Climbing out of the window, I got out and walked into the city, the city still lively. It was like the normal people never slept. I walked through the streets, walking past the stores and shops, cars whipping past. The city was full of lights! I scoffed and wrinkled my nose at the stench of the expensive perfumes and colognes. it was different from the smells of the nightclub or the bunker. Even the sewers smelled better than the rich bullshit. I let the lights lead me, people laughing as they stomped on each others shadows. I growled and felt my hand tighten. Would this night get any better? Then I heard it.

"(Y/n)...psst, Fuck Nut, yoo hoo!"

I looked over to the bushes to see Donovan and his little crew. I rolled my eyes and asked.

"What do you want, Cock Sucker?"

He grinned and said, flipping a knife in his hands expertly.

"We're going hunting, aren't we boys?"

The boys hummed and held up their own weapons. Donovan flipped his firey orange hair back. How the fuck did the police not find this idiot with his hair literally the color of a fucking cone? I said, walking away.

"Not interested."

Donovan whined and then sighed, saying.

"Ok, Baby Girl. We'll miss you tonight. "

"Whatever, Cone Head."

The screams of girls filled my ears and I smiled at the symphony.

* * *

**_I'm officially trash. part two soon!_ **


	2. Chapter 2

_**Ok, yeah. Trash. Definitely trash.** _

* * *

I awoke in my bunker, the sunlight casting a glow in the room as it beat the ground, the dark scurrying away from the light. I sat up and sighed, realizing it was Tuesday. However, I wasn't going to visit Donovan. Usually after a killing spree, his little goon of a gang sleep in the blood of the people they kill so they stink to high heaven and I wanted to save the sense of smell while I could. Gerard flickered into my head and I sighed, biting my lip. Should I seek for him? I sighed and put on my clothes, make up, and grabbed my phone. I looked at myself in the mirror, seeing the redness under my eyes. It seemed that no matter how much make up or concealer someone could put on, if you were a shadow, you could tell by the redness under the eyes. I saw others up as well and I got up out of the bunker from the window like usual, squinting at the light and I got up, brushing myself off. Setting off, I heard sirens and rolled my eyes, scoffing. There were new faces walking to the bunker and I just sighed. A new face, a new room, a new life where you really didn't have one. I walked down the street, like usual and I looked around around, seeming to look for Gerard's face. Would he be doing what I was? Walking around, almost aimlessly because that was all that we really could do? The sun beat down on my back as people stared, pausing. Their cold, judging eyes didn't phase me but for others, they put their heads down and continued to walk. They all walked in the same direction, to the bunker or the woods behind it. Was that why they stared at me and a few others? Because we walked in a different direction? We walked forwards, like them, as if we were truly shadows and not living people. I looked around and walked to the park, sitting on a bench that was run down and looked around. Children paused momentarily but continued to play while Mothers and Fathers got a bit closer to their kids. I scoffed. As if I would fuck around with kids. They were too weak to fight back. I scoffed once more and jolted when I felt a hand on my shoulders. There, smiling almost playfully, was Gerard.

"Did I scare you?"

I glared and bared my teeth at him, making him roll his eyes as he sat down next to me.

"You're not much of a social person, are you?"

I sighed and replied, looking at him.

"Why should we speak when there are no words to say?"

Gerard pursed his lip and then tucked some hair behind his ear, looking on at the children and he replied.

"There's plenty of words to say but I think you just don't know how to say them."

"What the fuck do you know?"

I asked harshly. I felt sort of bad for being this way but I was protective of myself. My walls were high and I wasn't gonna let this guy break them down. I could sense he was starting to very slowly lose his patience with me but it could of been just my mind being stupid. He sighed and replied.

"I know how it feels, (Y/n)."

I blinked, honestly stunned and his hazel eyes, seeming a bit darker now, looked a bit sad and I frowned, looking away. Gerard leaned forward, forearms on his knees and he flipped a cigarette out, lighting it and I watched him a bit. He held out the carton, silently offering me one and I took one, his hand coming up with the lighter and he lit it. I sighed a bit, taking a puff of the cigarette and slightly wrinkled my nose. Gerard chuckled and asked.

"Not a fan of the brand?"

"I never really cared for it."

I answered honestly.

"But, you know. Whatever you can get by with."

I crossed my legs and watched as the world darkened, clouds covering the sun and I looked up, letting the smoke come out of my mouth. Gerard looked at me and asked me.

"Hey, would it be ok to ask a question?"

"You just did."

I answered sassily, giving a small smirk. Gerard gave me a look and I stared back, taking a hit of the cigarette. Gerard rolled his eyes and then asked.

"Why do you insist on being like everyone else that's a Shadow?"

I narrowed my eyes a bit in thought. I responded, looking away.

"Because this is the only way that I know to live...what's the point in being different? It never ends right."

"But it's better than living your life in the dark with no excitement."

I looked at Gerard and he gave a small smile and I frowned, looking down and he put his hands in his pockets. He started to hum and I looked over at him, asking him.

"Are you humming a song that you sang when you were with your band?"

Gerard smiled a bit and nodded. He got out a pen and took my hand, writing down the name and the name of his band. I couldn't help but notice how warm he was. He murmured after pulling away.

"I don't mean to sound cocky but I think you'll like it...the lyrics, I mean..."

He got a light dusting of pink on his cheeks and I frowned a bit. Looking at my hand, I looked at the title of his band and song. (Fave MCR Song) by My Chemical Romance. He replied.

"We all broke up but I still talk to the band members. We're kind of...our own little family."

He looked to me and I nodded a bit. I leaned back and then stood up, walking away. After a moment, I paused and turned my head a bit, asking over my shoulder.

"Well? Are you gonna sit there, thinking about all the stupid shit you've done in your life or are you gonna walk with me?"

His face lit up and he got up and we started to walk next to each other, watching as the world passed by slowly. Gerard asked.

"Where do you stay? You never go to the neighborhoods around here."

"Do you honestly think the People would allow a Shadow to live amongst them? Fuck no. I live in the outskirts of the city where we all live in silence. I'll show you."

I took a short cut and continued to walk, some Shadows sitting on the side of the street, smoking. One said to me in a sad tone.

"Hey, (Y/n)."

I looked over and replied, lifting their head with an index finger under their chin.

"Chin up, kid. It's not over yet."

He nodded and got up, the eight year old holding onto my hand and I bit my lip. Demetri Rogues was a boy born into the Shadow World. His parents had surprisingly found love, which had given hope to others, and they had made him. Unfortunately, they were killed in a riot years ago. Shadows helped take care of him and Demetri had taken a liken to me, hanging around me. Gerard looked over, blinking as he observed the scene and he said to me with a playful look.

"Guess you're not as cold hearted as you come off to be, huh."

"I'll still kick your fucking face in."

Gerard shrugged and replied.

"Wouldn't be the first time a girl kicked my ass."

I rolled my eyes at his smart-ass comment. Demetri let go of my hand and ran into the bunker, opening the large door and he went inside. Gerard paused a bit and said.

"Whoa...I never knew this was here."

"That's the point. The People don't know this is here. This is where shadows take refuge if they don't go into the woods to the little community up there. The city built 'safe-houses' for us in the woods but they're a bitch to get to."

He nodded and we walked inside, Gerard taking in the whole place, looking around. He grabbed a hold of my sleeve, giving me a sheepish look as he looked around, almost nervously. I rolled my eyes and walked to my room. The door was black, painted with my name and other designs that I painted. Walking inside, the room was a dark red, the furniture inside themed black and charcoal grey. The bed was a king, bouncy and comfortable. The sheets were white but the comforter was black, as were some of the pillows. Their was an additional cot inside, the chest in front of it dark with age. There was a white dresser and the closet door was the same as the front door, except it had angry words in it. There was a recliner, the fabric grey and Gerard said.

"This is really nice."

I let him in and he sat down on the recliner. I sat down on the bed and he looked at the bunk and the chest in front of it. His eyes clicked to the cracked mirror, the glass obviously having been broke by it being punched. He looked at the closet door and Gerard asked me, looking at me.

"Do you have a roommate?"

"No. That cot is in here just in case Demetri ever wanted to sleep over or even that idiot Donovan."

"The dude that killed his fiance?"

"Yup."

I took out a lollipop and unwrapped it, throwing the kid one and Gerard was startled. He almost dropped it but got a firm hold of it. I watched him with a quirked eyebrow up and He gave a sheepish smile, turning away after a moment and he took the lollipop, putting it in his mouth and I flicked on the stereo. Gerard perked up and he asked.

"What music do you have?"

I tapped the dresser.

"Go ahead and see."

Gerard gave a confused look and looked inside the dresser, eyes widening at the amount of CD's I had, all in order. I gave him a shrug and he looked through what I had. A couple of times he would smile and say 'I used to own this CD' or 'I have this CD'. He looked to me, closing the dresser drawers.

"Where'd you get these?"

I said nonchalantly.

"I stole them."

Gerard's smile fell a bit but he shook his head, saying.

"All at the same time?"

"Pfft, no? Are you kidding me? It would take hours for me to steal all of that. You have to steal in intervals. Choose what you want carefully and strike when they least expect it. Every Shadow is a master mind in the art of Thievery. Kind of like a Thieves Guild, you know?"

He nodded and then joked, putting a hand over his heart and the other in his hand.

"I've never stolen a thing in my life."

I gave him a look and he continued to joke.

"Though, maybe I did steal a cookie from the cookie jar when I was younger."

I rolled my eyes and replied to him, nudging him with my foot a bit.

"You're so childish."

Gerard gave a wink.

"That's how I do, sweetheart."

"I'm not your sweetheart."

I rolled my eyes. Gerard stood and replied.

"As fun as this may be, I should get back to my abode. I think it is safe to say that I will see you again."

I scoffed and muttered.

"Don't hold your breath."

He rolled his eyes and gave his farewells, leaving. After a moment, I shot up and got out of the window, hiding in the shadows as I followed Gerard. He walked with a determined step. My steps were silent as I followed him, watching as he took out a cigarette and lit it up, looking around and I hid when he looked behind him. Holding my breath, I waited until I heard his steps again and continued to walk and follow him. I had my hood up and slowly, I walked, keep a steady distance between us. Each time he would look behind himself, I would hide and he'd continue on his way. When we neared the entrance of the sewers, he paused and I hid in the shadows. Blending in, he looked around and I froze when he stared right at me. Fuck, did he see me? I tilted my head a bit, watching him with curious eyes and he shook his head as if shaking off a thought and walked inside. I made a mental note to visit Entrance 54 soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Mama, We're meant for the flies_ **

* * *

_I was in the nightclub corner again. The drinks, the food, it was the same as it was the night that I met that red-head Gerard. The difference was that everyone was surrounding me, laughing with wide, dead eyes. They were like voids, circular depths of vast darkness, a white circle in them with a much smaller black dot. Their mouths were ripped open, sharp teeth showing as they smiled like the Cheshire Cat. There was a huge spotlight was on me. I was naked and exposed, nothing covering my body as I laid on the table. People were laughing at me, calling me a whore, a fake, an outcast even though their mouths never stopped the movement of laughing. Even Gerard was there, sipping his glass silently, but his eyes told it all. He looked like himself, the same button nose, the same lips, his eyes till the same. He was the only one who looked human. Gerard had an eyebrow quirked up, looking at me with those hazel eyes that seemed to observe me silently. I heard everyone chanting._

_'You're weak'_

_'You are nothing.'_

_'You should of stayed dead.'_

_Gerard walked over and set his hand over my heart, the skin where he touched turning into a black/white/grey mixture and into ash. I screamed in pain and Gerard put a finger on my lips, whispering.  
_

_"Shh, it's ok. It'll be over soon, Outcast."_

_I widened my eyes at him when his hand dug into my chest, past my ribs that were turning to ash slowly, his fingers wrapping around my heart. I could feel his fingers as he felt my heart beat for a moment and I screamed in terror and pain when he started to squeeze the beating heart. He squeezed the beating heart every time it would beat and fuck, it was so painful. Gerard leaned down a bit, his eyes closing halfway, his mouth falling open just a bit. He continued to look at me as he yanked it out and I froze, twitching in pain. As my vision blurred, he held my heart and he whispered to me, holding it close to him as the back of his hand ran down the side of my cheek._

_"Shh, I'll keep your heart safe..."_

_A mirror appeared above me, showing my body as my chest cavity turned to ash, the ash spreading. Where he touched me, I turned to ash and the last thing I felt was his lips on my pale forehead and the sound of the people's laughter and my loudly beating heart echoing through my head._

I awoke screaming at the top of my lungs, sitting up and others came to me, running and filing in. One sat beside me, gently comforting me silently. I gripped the shirt of the one holding me gently, the man whispering soothing words into my ear. I cried quietly, the tears flowing down my cheeks. I shook. What the fuck was that?! What did it mean? I didn't know. I wiped my eyes and I whispered.

"Leave me..."

The others looked at me in concern and I curled up into a ball, avoiding the sunlight that poured into the room. I panted a bit and put a hand to my chest, weeping. Sitting up, I went to the mirror and lifted my shirt, seeing the huge scar that went down in a line on my sternum. It was large, ugly, and it burned. It always did when I had nightmares that pertained to my heart being ripped out. I put the black shirt down and grabbed my hoodie and put on a pair of jeans, running a hand through my hair to keep it at least somewhat tamed. Putting on my shoes, I went out of the window and I went to the cemetery, stopping in front of two tombstones.

_(Mother) & (Father)_

_Till Death Do Us Part_

_Parents, Lovers, Best Friend_

I knew what the epitaph on the back said by heart, having read it a thousand times, maybe more.

_"How nice, to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive._

_This moment will just be another story someday._

_What would your good do if evil didn't exist, and what would the earth look like if all the shadows disappeared?"_

I snarled a bit and kicked the grass underneath my feet, glaring at the names.

"You were never a good mother or father."

I knelt down and laid a dead rose on their grave, resting my forearms on my knees.

"All you ever did was put me down. All you ever did was tell me that I was nothing. That I would never be someone."

I sniffled and yelled, pointing at my chest.

"I am someone! I am something! I told you I would prove you wrong and I'm doing a pretty good fucking job of it! You always said that you wanted a son and when you got me, you got angry. You think I wanted this?! You are and will always be nothing to me! You should of died a terrible and painful death! You should of never been born and I wouldn't be stuck in this fuck of a world! I hate you!"

I sobbed and fell to my knees, saying.

"You both told me that I would never make it. You told me all I was, was a failure. That I would never be able to be someone. Well guess what, I was! I was someone! But I blew it. You two blew it. You took me apart and then put me back together. You're fucking lucky you died before I even knew what murder was."

I jolted when I heard a voice say from beside me.

"You seem to have a lot of pent up anger inside."

I quickly wiped my eyes and asked in a harsh tone.

"What do you want, Gerard? How do you keep finding me?"

"Well, you have a good set of lungs on you, that's for sure."

I didn't respond. I just stared at the tombstone in disgust and hatred and I muttered.

"My parents should of died a painful, slow, agonizing death for the shit that they had done. They should of fucking been tortured for what they did."

I stood and kicked the tombstone, yelling.

"I dance and rejoice on your fucking grave!"

I kicked the part of the cross so hard, it broke off and I panted in anger. Gerard sighed a bit and said.

"I don't think they'll be able to feel that."

"I'm sure they can feel the pain of being tortured in Hell."

I muttered. Gerard just looked at me and sighed more. His hazel/brown eyes looked at me and I looked away from him, the nightmare running through my head again and I felt my chest tighten. I hated the way he looked at me. I hated the way he just sipped his glass and looked on. I hate the way he took my heart. My hand came to my chest, rubbing gently on the surface of the scar and I whispered.

"They turned me into something that will never be human. They turned me into a living corpse that will never know what it's like to have a beating heart."

I took out a cigarette and lit it up, taking a really needed puff and Gerard responded.

"We're all dead inside, (Y/n), but that gives us opportunity. We can rise from what we were."

I looked at him and sassed.

"Well, aren't you just the righteous man."

Gerard pursed his lips and responded, a little bit impatiently.

"I'm trying to help you-"

"-Gerard, get it through your thick skull. I don't need help! I've never gotten any help in my life so why do I get it now? Huh? Why, after all these years, do I deserve to get help?"

I looked at him, anger in my eyes and Gerard said, a bit defensively.

"Are you sure that you don't need help? Everyone's struggling, especially those in the Shadows! We need to help each other whether you agree with it or not. The Shadows need to rebuild themselves. All of us were, and still are, people."

He stood up and walked towards me, making me back up.

"We still have feelings, we still think."

He had me back up into the wall of a crypt and his eyes were blazing with anger and...pain?

"We still feel pain, we still breathe, eat, all of that! We are still people but we are a different...culture, so to speak. We just haven't realized that we can be more than what those fuckers say. Who cares if we're different? That's what makes us so fucking awesome. I'm not giving up and I'll be goddamned if I let you give up too."

"That's not your choice to make, Gerard!"

"But It's a promise that I can try to keep, (Y/n)!"

I was taken back by the fierceness and pain and insistence in his voice and I sighed a bit, looking down and I whispered.

"Why...why me? Why not help someone else?"

Gerard took my hand and held it in his hands, saying with sincere and softened eyes.

"Because you're the first person that's ever said anything back when I spoke."

I looked up at him, confused a bit. He chuckled a bit, saying.

"When you're a Shadow, you literally just...disappear. Everyone ignores you, though they may look at you. You try to speak out, reach out to someone, but it's like no one can hear you. But yet there's one person in the world who speaks back. They always speak...but sometimes we can be too deaf to hear it because we're so used to the silence. I tried to speak out...I tried to get people to know that 'hey, I'm still here!' but they would walk past like I was nothing but a piece of paper on a light pole or the dirt on the underside of their shoe."

He took a deep breath and sighed, saying.

"What I'm trying to say is...is that when I spoke, someone replied. I guess I'm attached to you because of it but who wouldn't be attached to someone who could see them?"

I felt my bottom lip quiver and Gerard said, backing away but keeping a hold of my hand while getting a determined look on his face.

"I'm not going to let you fade away into the darkness. No, you are more than that. _We_ are more than that. I promise, I'm going to make the People know that we are still here."

I scoffed a bit, sniffling in as tears filled my eyes.

"Oh, and how are you going to do that?"

Gerard got a bright smile on his face, the smile scheming and nothing but mischievous.

"We're gonna blow out every fucking speaker in the city with the best music in the world."

He paused and then said, giving a quirky smile.

"If I do say so myself."

I snorted and crossed my arms, sighing. Looking at the red head who had an excited look on his face, I sighed once more and put my hands up.

"Fine, fine. But if the City Counsel catches us, you do know we're dead meat right?"

"I won't let anything happen to you."

Gerard replied with the most up-most sincerity. I blushed a bit and looked away, frowning. Gerard then asked, tightening his hold on my hand.

"Do you trust me?"

I gave him a look, my voice taking on a sarcastic tone as the sarcasm flowed through me like a river.

"Do I trust an psychotic dude who's probably gonna get himself, and most likely everyone else, killed?"

I then smiled at him, tightening my own hold on his hand.

"Sure."


	4. Chapter 4

_** Everyone's a passenger tonight ** _

* * *

Gerard had pulled me with him, hand tight in mine and smiling as he said with excitement.

"Come on!"

I was bewildered, stumbling as he pulled me along, my eyes wide and I said, finally catching my steps and running with him, my hair flying behind my.

"Where are we going, Gerard?!"

He just said in a sing-song voice, looking over his shoulder a bit at me.

"It's a surprise!"

I muttered to him, glaring slightly as the wind ran through his red hair, ironically looking like fire.

"Don't tell me you're taking me to some gay bar or something underground."

He paused and gave me a look, rolling his eyes.

"Ha ha, very funny."

I smirked at him and responded, tightening my hold on his hand so I wouldn't be left behind if I accidentally let go.

"I know, that's why you laughed."

He huffed and started to run again, not even waiting for me to prepare myself and I yelped when I was tugged along, stumbling once more. Gerard looked back, giving a quirky smirk and I stuck my tongue out at him. I widened my eyes when I noticed that this was the route to go to one of secret entrances of the sewers. Entrance 54. We neared Entrance 54 and I bit my lip. He got to the Entrance and looked around. When the coast was clear, he pushed on the cement door, the door sliding back a bit as he did and he slid it to the right, the door sliding and giving a loud clank when it hit a mechanism that would stop it from going into the wall all the way. Torches lit the way, showing a cobblestone tunnel, dripping with condensation and he closed the door, turning a knob that would lock it. Gerard then said to me, giving a stern look.

"You need to stay close to me. Some of us down here are...rowdy, so to speak."

I frowned and asked.

"Meaning they haven't seen a girl since literally the beginning of time?"

He chuckled a bit and replied, putting an hand on the low of my back almost protectively.

"Somewhat."

When we got to a doorway, the archway dripping with water, it opened into a huge room where shadows were dancing or singing at the top of their lungs. The middle was a platform with about nine little paths leading off to different corridors, a skylight below lighting the place as other lights helped to light the place up. The paths had wrought iron railings to prevent anyone from falling into the water and there were different padlocks on the railing, seeming like the padlocks on the fence in Paris. The smell of candles, food, and a bit of Febreeze filled my lungs instead of the stench of normal sewers. I looked beneath the paths and noticed it was just plain water, not actual sewage. It flowed underneath the constructed place and I wondered where it went. It was pleasant and I was stunned as I looked back to the party-goers.. I never saw Shadows so...happy and dancing and singing. There were three men hanging on ropes, singing and one looked at Gerard, eyes lighting up.

"Gee!"

He was tall and had brunette hair. It was blonde on the top and was slicked back. I noticed he had a close resemblance to Gerard and wondered if he was related to the red head. Gerard smiled at the man and said.

"Hey, Mikey."

'Mikey' looked over at me and tilted his head, asking with kind but curious eyes.

"Who's this?"

"Her names (Y/n). She's like us."

Mikey nodded and then tilted his head, saying.

"Well, nice to have you here."

A man with black hair to his shoulders came up to us, one of the men that was swinging from the ropes, and smiled at Gerard.

"Hey, it's about time you got back. I see you brought someone."

"(Y/n), this is Frank. Frank, this is the girl I was telling you about."

Frank gave a small smile and replied.

"So, you're the Mystery Girl. Well, I hope your time here is very fun."

I nodded a bit and Mikey held up a spider, saying in a taunting voice.

"Hey Frank."

Frank looked over and gave a girly scream when he saw the spider and I widened my eyes, covering my mouth as everyone laughed at him. I felt a laugh threaten to spill from my lips but I held myself back, feeling kind of sorry for the man. Mikey started to chase the screaming and running man, other Shadows laughing and a man with an afro just shook his head. Gerard informed when the man followed after.

"That was Ray."

I nodded and Gerard sighed a bit, a hand running down his face.

"Frank has arachnophobia and will freak out at any spider. Even if it's like...the size of a speck of dust."

I snorted and nodded in understand. Everyone had their fears. Gerard led me through the place, frowning when some men catcalled and I glared hotly at those who did, daring them to do something quietly. Gerard just kept his hand on my lower back and he led me to a corridor with doors, almost rushing me. He swallowed thickly and he went into one at the very end of the hall. Gerard spoke up.

"This is my room. The one across from this one is empty so..if you wanna stay here, it's open."

He had a slight redness in his cheeks and he rubbed the back of his neck. I nodded a bit, thinking about the offer. Frank ran down the corridor, yelling.

"Gerard! Tell him to stop! Oh my god, it's gonna eat me!"

"Frankie!"

Came the taunting voice of Mikey and Gerard sighed.

"Mikey, come on, stop torturing the poor man."

"Aw!"

Came the response whining response. I felt my mouth twitch up a bit and Gerard said.

"Hey, Mikey, is Ray with you?"

Mikey came down the corridor, Frankie hiding behind me and I crossed my arms, jutting out my hip a bit and Mikey paused, blinking and hiding his hand behind his back.

"I don't have the spider."

He said, obviously lying as he whistled, looking away and I rolled my eyes. Gerard said as Ray came down the hall.

"I got a plan."

"You are still set on rebelling, aren't you."

Frankie asked, still hiding behind me. Gerard nodded and smiled at him, gesturing to me.

"She's gonna help. To be honest, she was the confidence booster I needed to go through with it."

I rolled my eyes but still felt a bit prideful as he said that and he exclaimed his plan to everyone.

"We're gonna go into the heart of the city, and play our music as loud as we can. Jameson will have to hack all of the electronics in the city and our music can come through! That means that we can possibly get through to the other Shadows and we can...we can get them to realize, along with the People, that we are still people."

Frank, Mike, and Ray nodded a bit and Mikey asked.

"Are you sure it's gonna work, Gee?"

Gerard looked to me and he smiled, nodding. He replied, still looking to me.

"I've never been more sure. We've got luck on our side."

I rolled my eyes once more and we all walked out. Mikey started to yell, getting everyone's attention and the Shadows gathered around as Gerard stood up on the table, saying.

"I think it's time that we put our foot down!"

He looked around and helped me up on the table. I crossed my arms and he smiled at me before continuing.

"For years, we've been told that we were nothing. We've been told that we belong to the dark. We belong nowhere!"

Some Shadows murmured amongst themselves and Gerard jumped up and down a bit, saying.

"I say it's time we show them what we're made of! We are people too! We can do everything they can do! Why do they get everything and we get nothing just because we're different? I say that we rebel and prove that we are not just Shadows!"

Some people lifted up their hands, yelling in response and the whole place erupted in cheers and chants.

"We are more than they think we are! We are People too!"

I was astonished at the amount of emotion, the amount of noise, that was flooding through the place and Gerard looked at me, smiling a bit and he asked, getting a determined look on his face but his eyes were still soft.

"Are you sure that you want to help? You don't have to."

"Are you kidding me? You fucking walnut. As if I would miss out on giving the city a taste of their own medicine."

Gerard gave a genuine laugh, throwing his head back a bit and he teased.

"Can't you do any better at insulting?"

I glared and responded, grabbing a knife.

"I will shove this up your ass."

Gerard just chuckled and grabbed my hand, helping me off the table and I tripped, gasping. Gerard widened his eyes and his hands shot to my hips, helping to stabilize me and he asked me, a small smile on his face.

"Are you alright?"

I nodded and he nodded once. He grabbed my hand and said.

"Come on, we gotta go talk to that computer hacker."

I nodded and we walked into the next corridor to the first door. The door was colored chestnut and open and when inside, it was like a tech lab. Computers lined the room, Screens everywhere along with keyboards and wires. Lights and buttons lit up somewhat as music played. There were circuit boards lying around on the table, bolts and tools beside it as it connected to a mini robot dressed in a black marching band uniform. I widened my eyes, turning a bit and there in the middle of the room sat a man with headphones on. He was playing a video game and I observed him. He was 5'7", or what looked like it, and had brown hair. It was cut short, the front going into a mohawk and he had a goatee. Glasses were on the bridge of his nose as he played and he murmured.

"Locked and Loaded, come to papa!"

He shot the enemy on the screen and threw his hand sup in the air.

"Whoo hoo! That's what I thought!"

Gerard knocked and Jameson turned, giving a grin.

"Hey, Gerard! What can I do for-oh hello there, baby."

He smiled and Gerard kicked the arm of the rolly chair, making Jameson jolt.

"She's not here to fuck, she's here to help. Get that through your head right now."

Jameson sighed and asked.

"What do you need?"

I said, taking over and making Gerard blink a bit, his mouth hanging open a bit.

"We need you to hack into every electronic in Philadelphia. There are hundreds of security camera's lining the streets. We need you to break the connection from the Council and link every electronic device to the security cameras. Make sure that the connection is linked to the security in the heart of the city. We're gonna be there."

"You guys are rebelling, aren't you."

Jameson said, frowning a bit. Gerard and I nodded and Jameson cracked his fingers, giving a smirk.

"Your wish is my command, baby."

I rolled my eyes and turned. Gerard still had his mouth hanging open a bit, his eyes still widened slightly and I pushed his jaw up, teasing as he closed it obediently.

"Jaw up, pretty boy. We got a city to take over."

* * *

**_Killjoys in the style of the Black Parade anyone?_ **


	5. Chapter 5

_** I Am Not Afraid To Keep On Living ** _

**_(a/n: I smell a crossover of Black Parade and Killjoys! BLACKPARADE/KILLJOYS? NO MIND IF I DO.)_ **

* * *

Everyone was in a strange outfit. The four men I had came to know as Gerard, Frank, Mikey, and Ray all had on black marching band uniforms with white buttons and lines in the front, each uniform different. Much like the robot I saw in Jameson's room. I was dressed in a white button up, the ends seeming to be puffy if I put on the black coat that went over it. It had two tails in the back and had spiky buttons in the front. It had spikes on the shoulders and velvet designs that contrasted with the shiny leather. I also had on black skinny jeans and knee high boots, the bottoms looking like combat boots. I was the drum major and the Shadows were going to be something Gerard had called the Black Parade. Their faces were painted like skulls and it was pretty cool, to be honest. I was super pale, courtesy of the make up I let Gerard do for me and I had to admit, it truly was like we were ghosts creating a new race. Gerard had creating tear marks going from the corner of my eyes to my jaw and painted my lips with black face paint. When I had asked, Gerard said it was something that he had done for his band a while ago and had also said that it would be the best way to get attention without killing anything. I had called him a killjoy, he just gave me a knowing smile that I didn't quite understand. Everything matched but I knew that if anyone tried, they could find Gerard easily with that red hair of his. He was the only one in a sea of dark red, brunette, black, and white blonde, even platinum and silver, with fiery red hair. Speaking of that red head, he had walked up and gave me an adorable smile and asked, teasingly while tucking a bit of hair behind his ear.

"Ready to conduct the Black Parade, Major?"

I rolled my eyes but taunted back.

"Keep up that sassy attitude, Mr. Way, and I'll put you in the back of the line."

He chuckled and nodded, winking while giving a two finger salute. I rolled my eyes and whacked him up side the head with the baton, using as much force as I could. He yelped and laughed genuinely, holding his head and He looked at me with joyful eyes. I was a bit taken back but I softened my gaze, nevertheless. I gave in to letting a small smile form on my face. Gerard's eyes widened and I asked, tiling my head as the small smile fell just as fast as it had came.

"What's the matter, Gerard?"

He said in a quiet, stunned voice.

"You smiled..."

I blinked a bit and he said, a smile lighting up his face as he got excited.

"You never smile when I'm around...Holy shit, can I see it again?"

I blushed a bit and crossed my arms, looking away and frowning. I closed my eyes, seeming to be too stubborn to smile again. He said my name in a sing-song voice and I refused to look over. I imagined seeing his hopeful face and he sighed, saying.

"I'll buy you a bunch of coffee?"

I rolled my closed eyes but took the bait, opening one eye as I asked a moment later.

"With oreos?"

Gerard nodded and smiled.

"With Oreos."

The smile took my face unwillingly as I slowly opened my other eye and Gerard smiled more when he saw my smile. His chest seemed to puff with pride and I rolled my eyes, hitting his shoulder.

"Come on, Pretty Boy. This Parade isn't gonna last long if it doesn't have it's Marching Band."

I took my baton, putting it in the air as the signal to get ready and the snare drum players in the front took their stations. Everyone who had instruments (how the fuck did they learn to play musical instruments any-fucking-way?) put them at attention and the snares played a roll. The doors to the outside opened up after a secret wall was lowered. It was like a ramp and we started to march, the slap of our feet harmonious and in step as we marched. Gerard and his band were on a platform, a bunch of people pushing it, others that were inside of the stage pedaling the wheels to help. I took my walki-talki out and said into it to Jameson.

"We're ready, Jameson. Going into the heart of the city now."

I heard static and then.

"Copy that, Major. Ready whenever you are."

I nodded and we started to march, people walking around and pausing momentarily when they heard the sound of our feet hitting the ground. I felt the urge to grin maniacially and I heard the guitars start to play a little. Frank and Mikey were playing an upbeat melody and Ray started to play a small beat in the rhythm of our march. Gerard didn't seem to be getting ready to sing so I guess the boys were doing it for fun. We got closer and I put my baton up in the air. Everything stopped and I said into the walki-talki.

"Ready."

I saw the security camera's move and I yelled as loud as I could.

"Band, 2, 3, 4. Mark, time, Mark!"

We started to march once again, a piano playing and I heard Gerard start to sing. My heart pounded in my chest as I heard the very, very faint noise of sirens and when Gerard sang loud and proud. People gathered with wonder and a bit of fear in their eyes and I continued to march us all into the heart of the city. We all filed into it and we created an arch, Gerard and his band in the middle. The ones who were pushing the platform stood in front of it like bodyguards and I stood stiffly still, watching in my peripheral vision, as the police arrived. They had their guns out but didn't point them at us, just stood their ground confusedly. As we stood there, we could see other Shadows walking up with blinking eyes, their eyes filling with wonder and hope. It made me feel good and they gathered around, seeming to tap their feet to the beat of the song. The song hit the chorus the second time through and I jolted at the amount of volume. I could feel the vibrations in my chest, in the ground, in the air. It felt like heaven, to be honest, and with more and more Shadows appearing and the people backing away, it made us, as a whole, feel great. Our mood brightened and with it, the music did too. A police chief talked into his radio, seeming to ask something and I widened my eyes when I read his lips.

_'Permission to shoot?'_

I prayed to anyone that was fucking listening that he wouldn't. Even though I wasn't afraid to die, I worried about all the others and especially Gerard. I heard an Alarm sound throughout the City, signaling the people to get into their homes. Gerard continued to sing, seeming confident and we all stood our ground, the growing hope and wonder filling the place. I fixed my posture, standing tall and I held my head high, though my hands were clammy. Gerard finished his song and started to sing another, SWAT coming in and I started to sweat a bit. The Shadows started to go against the SWAT, pushing them down and they started to destroy the city. I turned and yelled loud.

"March! Go! Go! Everyone get out of here!"

The Marchers took that as their cue to run to the sewers and I grabbed Gerard's hand, snarling in his face.

"You better have a good fucking hiding spot."

He grinned and replied, grabbing my hand and the boys following as we ran as fast as we could.

"Don't worry, sugar. I got just the thing to get us out of here. But you gotta admit, this was an awesome escapade."

I huffed and frowned as we neared a Trans Am. The boys all got in and Gerard smirked a bit, quirking an eyebrow up almost flirtatiously.

"Guess you're gonna have to sit in my lap, little lady."

"Little Lady? Oh please. I'm anything _but_ little."

I climbed in, Gerard getting out of the way a bit so I could sit and I sat in his lap, sighing a bit. I smirked, saying with my back to his chest, putting my hands on the steering wheel after slapping his hands away and moving his feet.

"I'm driving."

His horrified eyes in the review mirror made me smirk more and I hit the gas, the tires squealing and I growled a bit, skidding around a corner and Gerard held me tightly, everyone else holding to parts inside the car. The police cars tried to keep up with me but I kept taking detours, throwing them off while still in the city. We hit a hill and when we jumped, the car was in mid air and I could faintly hear the girly screams of Frank as everyone else yelled in terror. We landed, the car bouncing, and I whooped, realizing I was losing them and we hit the highway, going faster than a freight train. When we lost them, I relaxed and went to a gentle cruise, staying on 75 and I drove for a long while. I heard the faint snoring in the back and saw Frank was asleep along with Ray, their heads against the window and I made sure to avoid any bumps and potholes if it could be helped. Mikey was resting his head on the seat, looking at the ceiling with a look of 'holy shit, we finally did it' and Gerard looked at me through the rear view mirror. I looked longer than a second but then tore my eyes a bit. I loosened my tie a bit and unbuttoned the coat a bit, taking it off strategically while still driving. I could put it in the back with the rest of my clothes that I had packed. I had packed everything I had, all of it fitting in an over stuffed duffel bag. I turned on the radio and searched through the station, finding a rock genre-based station. As a nice, easy song came on, Gerard murmuring it was his song 'S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W', I left it on and I kept on driving. The sun was shining low, starting to set and I felt a weight slowly lower itself my shoulder. I sighed a bit, my hand coming up and my finger gently run back forth on the skin of Gerards jawline. I felt his slightly tense body relax and I looked at him in the side mirror, realizing that he was asleep and I smiled a bit at him. I looked back at the road, driving on and away from the fire and smoke of the city I used to call home. I didn't know what I was going to do now and if I would stay with Gerard. I most likely would. After all, he was the first person to ever stay by my side. You get attached to people who do that. I smirked a bit and sighed. Whatever would come my way, I knew I wouldn't be alone.

And for the first time in my time of being alive, I finally felt like I was someone and that I belonged.

* * *

_Move your body when the sunlight dies_

_Everybody hide your body from the scarecrow_

_Everybody hide..._

* * *

**_(SHOULD I CONTINUE THIS OR NAH)_ **


End file.
